


worthless

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-13
Updated: 2008-09-13
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:23:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12412005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: He was afraid to hear what his father might’ve said to him then, but much more than that, he was afraid to think that his father wouldn’t have left if he had had a son like James Potter.





	worthless

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**A/N: I’m really attempting to take a peek into the more unexplored minds of Harry Potter, and this is really just another try at that. Tell me how you like it.**

 

\-----

_And sometimes I think_

_That I'm not any good at all_ __

_And sometimes I wonder why_

_Why I'm even here at all_

**\- More Than Useless** , Relient K

\-----

 

 

 

**worthless**

 

 

His father left him when he was seven.

On that night, he had convinced his parents to give him some of the treacletart, and he felt jumpy and awake. It was far past his bedtime, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie down in bed. Instead, he stared at the wall, waiting for sleep to captivate him.

The window captivated him instead.

His bedroom was on the second story, but he could still see the familiar overgrown lawn and his mum’s garden practically swallowing the cobblestone pathway that darted away from their house. His father was marching angrily down that path.

It was difficult to forget that image the next morning, when his nose still hurt from being pressed against the window glass. It was especially difficult when his mother started sobbing at the kitchen table after being confronted with the empty chair that was usually occupied by his father.

It was because of that awful morning after that the image of him walking away from him always stayed imprinted in his mind. It was his only memory, and it lived only to tease him and torture him and tell him that he was not good enough simply because his father had left, and never once looked back.

When he got his letter, his mother was joyous while he felt worthless. He didn’t think his father would be proud at all; he would probably remark on how horrible his son would be at magic. This nagged at him after he got his letter and he watched it become true.

When he got sorted into Gryffindor, his mother sent him a letter expressing her happiness while he felt worthless. He didn’t think his father would be proud at all; he would probably roll his eyes and comment on the fact that the other boys in his house would overshadow him with their true courage. This nagged at him after he got sorted and he watched it become true.

When he and the other boys became great mates, his mother was ecstatic to learn about it while he felt worthless. He didn’t think his father would be proud at all; he would probably laugh and shake his head, mumbling about how he would only be a tagalong who was forgotten in the end. This nagged at him after they befriended him and he watched it become true.

When he betrayed his best friends and joined Lord Voldemort, he didn’t think about his father. He was afraid to hear what his father might’ve said to him then, but much more than that, he was afraid to think that his father wouldn’t have left if he had had a son like James Potter.

 

He thinks it’s probably true, and he feels

 

 

 

**worthless** again.

 

 

 

 


End file.
